Maybe You are Not Slow, Maybe You are Just Impatient
Driving through Lagos traffic every day to and from work, you can't escape the symphony of honks, curses, and impatient chatters all saying the same thing: move fast. I used to join them too, not with my horn or curses, but in my head, silently urging the driver ahead, “Oga move now, why are you driving like an illiterate?” Sometimes I'm calm, sometimes irritated.
One particular day changed my perspective completely. Unable to sleep well, I woke up unusually early, got ready and left for work. That drive was different. I was calm, unbothered by the slow car ahead or the guy switching lanes like he owned the road. I didn’t mind, it was unusual.
Right there in traffic, it hit me: I wasn’t in a rush, and that changed everything. I didn’t feel like people were slow, I didn’t feel like I had to push through anything. It wasn’t what I ate the night before, or the weather, or salary week. It was simply that I left early. I wasn’t chasing time, I had it.
That realization sparked something deeper. How many other things in life have I misjudged because of my own state of mind? Often, we judge others as slow by our own hurried state of mind. At work, I sometimes feel like people are too slow or too comfortable. But maybe they are not slow, maybe I’m too fast. Maybe that person you think is dull isn't dull at all, maybe your expectations are set differently.
Sometimes it's not that she's ugly, maybe your taste is just too exclusive. Maybe your boss doesn’t hate you, maybe you’re not pulling your weight. Maybe that person isn’t short, you are just too tall - Short people usually do not like to stand with tall people because they dwarf them.
It’s not about shifting blame or absolving others of responsibility. It's about realizing that sometimes, you might be the one throwing off the balance. If you are rushing to get to a party, everyone else will be moving slow except they are also rushing like you. That’s the point.
We judge people based on our current state, impatience, mood, ambition, taste and we don’t even realize it. Worse still, we judge ourselves by others' timelines. We ignore our own growth just because we haven’t caught up with whoever we have fixed our eyes on.
A Yoruba saying goes: "Kí a má wo aago aláago ṣiṣẹ́́" – don’t work with someone else’s watch. Use your own.
You are not where you want to be, yes. But you are also not where you used to be. That’s growth. Recognize it. Celebrate it.
Maybe you are not slow. Maybe you are just impatient.